Overcoming Your Fears

Fear can stop you in your tracks, tie your hands, and prevent you from doing anything constructive. Fear can be debilitating, despite its irrationality. Everyone has their particular fears, from more existential and abstract fears, like the fear of dying or loneliness, to more concrete, everyday fears and phobias, of insects, heights, and even the number thirteen! For those with serious phobias, such as agoraphobia (the fear of public spaces and crowds), fear can seriously limit their ability to function as a normal person. If your irrational fears are proving to be real obstacles to a normal life, it may be time to get serious about dealing with your fears.

Take the fear of airplanes, for example. Everyone knows the statistics, which prove that one is actually safer in an airplane than at almost any other time in this unpredictable life of ours! Few are afraid to step in a car, although the fear of a car wreck would, in any case, be a more reasonable fear, based on the facts. Often, the fear is actually of the unknown or unfamiliar. Car trips are a familiar part of our everyday routine, so it’s hard to be afraid of them. But for those unused to flying, a plane ride can be downright traumatic. At the same time, if you refuse to fly, it can be very limiting in terms of your mobility, preventing you from taking that next step at work, or from visiting friends and family.

Here are just a few practical pointers on how you might work to overcome fear.

1. Know your enemy.

The enemy is fear, and to fight it, you must understand it. Pinpoint the source of your fear, and ask yourself about its origins. Fears that at first glance seem completely illogical may actually have their own strange logic, since they can be traced back to frightening incidents from childhood. A single incident, which you may hardly remember in your conscious thought, may have simmered in your subconscious for all these years, producing fears and phobias. If the problem is serious, hypnosis may aid you in discovering the origins of your phobias.

2. Enjoy a change of perspective.

The way we see things can radically change our impressions, and that goes for the objects of our fear as well. Shifting our viewpoint may eradicate our fear completely. Often, we fear things that are far away from us, imagining them to be much more horrible or difficult than they really are, whether they are things or events. If we force ourselves to approach them just once, we’ll realize how overactive our imagination had been. Fear of flying is a great example. Even a single flight can convince you that flying really isn’t that bad. You may even find it exhilarating. In any case, it won’t be mysterious anymore—and remember, we rarely fear that which is familiar. Make your fear familiar.

3. Give yourself a pep talk.

Don’t be a defeatist, or beat yourself up. You’re not too weak to overcome your fear; you simply need to take action. Fear despises action; it prefers to see us tied up and powerless. When we take the initiative, and being doing, we tend to stop fearing—because the ball is in our court. Be positive, and encourage yourself as you confront your fear.

4. Learn acceptance for the way things are.

Some things we cannot change, such as the fact of death, so we must simply make peace with the fact of mortality; there is, obviously, little we can do about it! Most of our everyday fears, however, are quite different. These are the things we can change, and can take practical steps to overcome.

To conquer fears and overcome phobias, remember that the fear is inside you. We often imagine it as some monstrous thing looming on the horizon, when in fact, it’s lurking in our mind, in the way we see the world. Refocus your vision, confront your fears, and watch as they disappear.