Improving Your Social Skills…

Some people are very comfortable in social situations, can make friends easily, and are comfortable presenting ideas in work situations.

Others are more shy and retiring, and are not very comfortable in social situations. In fact, they may avoid certain social situations unless they are with close friends.

Social skills are important in many aspects of a person’s life – in relationships, in work, and in leisure. If one does not have good social skills, it can negatively affect one’s life.

The development of social skills comes from several sources. How one is brought up by parents, genetic disposition, self-esteem, education, and experiences all affect how socially astute and comfortable one can be. However, even if you were not taught how to be the social butterfly as you were growing up, and weren’t very popular in school, and are generally shy, there’s hope and a way to enhance and improve your social skills and gain confidence in social situations.

First, begin by examining how you react in social situations and try to understand why you are uncomfortable. Do you feel you’re not as good, educated, or pretty / handsome as others?

Usually these feelings are just that – feelings, and not hard facts. Everyone has certain positive and negative characteristics, and that includes those you may feel are “better” than you. So, the first thing you need to do is to take stock of all the “positives” you have going for you. You probably can be just as interesting as the next guy or gal, and you don’t even realize it.

Secondly, it’s important that even if you don’t feel comfortable in a lot of social situations, you have to push yourself to take part in these situations. This often is the best way to overcome shyness or that feeling that you are not like everyone else.

If you are well read and have interests in your life, you can make conversation and that’s where all interactions start. It may take some time, and many social situations before you begin to see a change, but things will change.

When it comes to work situations, enhancing social skills become very important. You need to feel comfortable to appropriately address your manager about ideas. You need to converse regularly with colleagues about your work, and also be able to have some casual, social discussions with others at work.

It is at work particularly that assertiveness training can be a help. There are many resources for this type of training, including books, seminars and workshops. One good resource for seminars and books is the American Management Association (www.amanet.org).

Remember this. There was once a person who was afraid to raise his hand in class even in college. But this fellow had dreams. He pursued his dreams and it meant talking to more and more people and learning more and more things. Eventually, he was comfortable talking to everyone. Eventually he became the most socially astute and admired person in the room, and he fulfilled his dreams. That can be you.