The Missing Link: Building Some Self Worth!
There are moments in everyone’s life when despair crowds your mind, blinding you to everything you’ve accomplished, and all the talents you have.
Instead, your only wish is that you could become something other than the completely unique person you are. In an instant, you’d agree to throw away everything you’ve worked for, personally and spiritually, and become “just like the others.”
Keep in mind, of course, that the others are thinking exactly the same thing—we’re all plagued by self-doubt, although many people are very good at hiding it.
We’ve all been at social events and admired some so-called “social lion,” who exudes a level of confidence that we can only envy.
What confidence?!
The fact is, we can’t possibly look behind the curtains, beyond those confident exteriors, and see the doubts in their hearts. Often, some of the most outgoing and “extroverted” people at parties are among the most insecure of anyone; they seek attention and make pointless small talk as a way of producing social noise, to drown out that inner voice of doubt that plagues their hearts.
Ever seen these motor-mouths who never seem to shut up? Does their banter and endless storytelling serve any real purpose? Certainly not to entertain the listeners! No, it’s all about hearing themselves talk, and creating a false sense of self-worth by tyrannizing the attention of those around them.
In their heart of hearts, though, they know exactly what they’re doing—and after the party, they’re more likely than anyone to go home and cry into their pillow. Believe it: you’re a lot more secure and level-headed than you probably give yourself credit for.
So, don’t compare yourself too unfavorably to those “confident” people you see around you. Everyone struggles with self-doubt. So you’re hardly alone, although you may often feel as if you are.
The irony is that those apparently confident people you see are probably looking at you at those social mixers, and thinking similar thoughts—how they’d love to walk in your shoes, and show your sort of fearlessness.
Self-improvement begins with a certain level of self-acceptance. Until you learn to be proud of yourself, and optimistic concerning your past accomplishments and future potential, you won’t have the spiritual and mental stamina to set out and pursue a serious path of self-improvement.
Many think that self-acceptance will only follow self improvement; that we have to achieve great things before we’ll ever be happy with ourselves.
The fact is that things are the exact opposite: you must establish a firm sense of self-worth and self-acceptance before you can ever hope to accomplish anything, not to mention realize your dreams.
Your closest friends can be an indispensable aid in this quest for self-esteem. Take a friend out to the local coffee shop or bar, maybe one you haven’t seen in far too long. Exchange stories, and tell about what you’ve done in the past few years…
You may amaze yourself, as you take stock of all you’ve accomplished in the recent past, and how far you’ve come. Sharing our successes with friends is one of the best ways to build our confidence.
It’s not enough to tell others about what justifies your existence; you need to convince yourself too of all that you’ve done, and truly believe it. Learn to control your inner voice. It loves to criticize, and often, its criticism is far from constructive. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, silence that insulting voice!
Refuse to listen to it! How can you hope to succeed if you’re always running yourself down?
Think positive! Stifle that voice of criticism, and replace it with a voice of confidence. Pat yourself on the back every once in a while!
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Photo by Michelle Brea– flickr.com
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Comments on The Missing Link: Building Some Self Worth!
u guys are helping a lot
Hey bob,
thankx, happy for that.
Big thanks you guyz are building people!
Hi, good work. Keep it up.
Many thanks , mr. kaled, I'm gitting in love with your wep site
all my respects,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm building a list right now of things that I could pat myself in the back for.
good word about confidence but you might be more precise
thank you (mohamad from lebanon)
thnx a lot but what shud i do? I'm still diffident.
well, i appreciate your courage,
hai!!
extremely superb..!!
i some how seem to love this blog.. u seem to do a wonderful job.. continue on the same..
best regards..!!
vyshu..
Hi.. this is fantastic quote..i love to read such kind of things. kindly let me know where i can findout articles similar to it
SMITA
This helps a lot to the students especially for those who are lagging behind like me!! Thanks a lot for your information kaled
Thanks everyone…
Hi Swetha… thank you for your comment & email. And I really wish you all the best with your academic studies.
Stay in touch,
Kaled.
Definitely you're right. we shhould believe in our selves and our ability. we should not loose our confidence after all we are unique no one can fill our place. we should try to learn lot with our abilities and try to improve ouurselves.
yesss…it is good but i have done all this which have weittrn there..but i am not satisfied..infact i have spent a great time of confidence…but there are some cases where only self confidence do not works…yes it is important to move ahead..but when people are not letting you or they are not helping you as you do not got a good personality your self which attract people or make them happy how would you do that…i just wanting to know that how could we acheive that personality which attract people..if any one knows this plss help
Hi muzna, thanks for your email… have you got the chance to read Dale Carnegie's Lifetime Plan for Success: How to Win Friends & Influence People? If not, here's a free copy to download. Print it & study it.
http://blog.mymmu.net/download/Dale_Carnegie_How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People.pdf
If you want a recommendation, grab the book from your local library or from Amazon.com for better reading.
hope that helps,
Kaled.
IN THE TRUE WORDS YOU GUYS ARE THE TODAYS HEROS THOSE HELPS OTHERS TO IMPROVE AND HELP TO LIVE THEIR LIFE IN A CONFIDENT AND POSSITIVE WAY THANKS A LOT ONCE AGAIN.
thanks for that that really helps a lot
@muzna: hi muzna i am vandana i tell u one thing you write on successes elixir blog your opening your confidence is very good but you want how to attract in your personality to other person i give u some tips this tips helpful for your personality
1. have a positive outlook and altitude. 2.meet new people. 3.by your self. 4.read more and expand your interest. 5.be supportive of other. 6. be fun and see the humorous side of life. 7. be a good conversationalist. and don't show i think tips is beneficial for your life
It can be quite difficult to make that inner voice shut up
But getting there also gives the positive effect that you get more attentive to what is going on in front of your nose thus getting much more out of life!
A positiv attitude counts more than anything. Approaching people in this way really can pay off – even in cases where their attitude is the opposite.
thanks for improving my self-confidence……..
well some very good things i have read out but till i just can't find my confidence and really there is something that is missing that i i m not finding out.please help me out………..
i m down in confidence shy to tell something scared of the c rowdy world in front of me.
thank u
Thanks. It's help me a lot ^^
It taught me how to respect oneself.once u knw to respect urself,nobody in the world can put u down.
It emphasis that everyone pretend to be happy,but really they r not happy.This is to bring the attention of others towards them.So v have to talk more with people.
This article is vry impressive,inspiring and helpful.
hi…This is very useful to me and others to developing our personal skills…
really inspiring….
This is very nice article for everyone . if some one want to improve his personality so he has to follow that
Thank you for sharing your views.