There are few of us who don’t have goals in life. After all, we all want something from our existence, regardless of what it may be. Often, though, we’re only vaguely aware of what our goals are. We fail to define them rigorously, and therefore we’re incapable of pursuing them methodically. Perhaps you yourself are somewhat new to the idea of setting goals in a systematic way. You’d be surprised at how effective you may become if you learn how to speak eloquently, to yourself an others, about what’s important to you, what you’re pursuing and how you’re going to attain it in very concrete terms.

So, how do you get started with goal setting? First of all, you need to think about the big one. The big goal, the destination you’re striving to reach, no matter what detours you may take along the path of your life. All of your secondary goals will flow from this central goal, as you consider what practical steps you can take to achieve your dreams. What matters most to you? What would you refuse to live without? What brings your life meaning? Once you strip away all the nonsense, all the distractions, all the chores you do without a sense of inspiration, you’ll be left with this one central goal. Write it out; try to formulate it as clearly and succinctly as you can.

Begin by determining whether the first goal that comes to mind is truly your goal, and not someone else’s. Often, we mistake the world’s goals for our own goals, accepting what other people view as important, instead of thinking independently about what really matters to us. Are we pursuing this particular goal because of its meaning for us, and in search of personal fulfillment? Or are we doing it just to impress those around us, to conform to society’s expectations of us, and its conception of what a meaningful life is? Often, the “meaning” prescribed by television, music, our peers, and even our family may be quite hollow, upon closer inspection. Listen to your own voice, and follow where it leads.

Once you’ve isolated your central purpose in life, ask yourself how to get there. Break it down into secondary goals, stepping stones along the path, which are manageable. Make sure they are all directly related to your ultimate goal; if there’s no apparent connection, they may be nothing but meaningless detours—exercises in wheel-spinning, instead of getting somewhere meaningful.

Spread your ultimate goal around, integrating it into all aspects of your life—intellectual, financial, moral, spiritual, and physical. How do your loved ones fit into the picture? How can you pursue all of your varied interests in a way that promotes the realization of your central purpose?

Formulate your goals and stepping stones in positive terms—they should define what you can do, not what you shouldn’t do. Defining goals negatively simply tells us where we can’t go. But we’re not exactly in kindergarten anymore, where life is a list of prohibitions. We’re in charge of our lives, so we should act like it. Tell yourself, in very positive tones, who you choose to be and where you choose to go.

Never let go of your central goal. If it truly matters to you, it’s not likely to fade from your radar, or become invalid at some point in life. Meaning in our life is timeless; it’s what defines us as a person. Jobs and addresses may change, but what we want from life is unlikely to. So don’t get discouraged if you meet with setbacks. Simply redouble your determination, and insist on achieving.

Fear can stop you in your tracks, tie your hands, and prevent you from doing anything constructive. Fear can be debilitating, despite its irrationality. Everyone has their particular fears, from more existential and abstract fears, like the fear of dying or loneliness, to more concrete, everyday fears and phobias, of insects, heights, and even the number thirteen! For those with serious phobias, such as agoraphobia (the fear of public spaces and crowds), fear can seriously limit their ability to function as a normal person. If your irrational fears are proving to be real obstacles to a normal life, it may be time to get serious about dealing with your fears.

Take the fear of airplanes, for example. Everyone knows the statistics, which prove that one is actually safer in an airplane than at almost any other time in this unpredictable life of ours! Few are afraid to step in a car, although the fear of a car wreck would, in any case, be a more reasonable fear, based on the facts. Often, the fear is actually of the unknown or unfamiliar. Car trips are a familiar part of our everyday routine, so it’s hard to be afraid of them. But for those unused to flying, a plane ride can be downright traumatic. At the same time, if you refuse to fly, it can be very limiting in terms of your mobility, preventing you from taking that next step at work, or from visiting friends and family.

Here are just a few practical pointers on how you might work to overcome fear.

1. Know your enemy.

The enemy is fear, and to fight it, you must understand it. Pinpoint the source of your fear, and ask yourself about its origins. Fears that at first glance seem completely illogical may actually have their own strange logic, since they can be traced back to frightening incidents from childhood. A single incident, which you may hardly remember in your conscious thought, may have simmered in your subconscious for all these years, producing fears and phobias. If the problem is serious, hypnosis may aid you in discovering the origins of your phobias.

2. Enjoy a change of perspective.

The way we see things can radically change our impressions, and that goes for the objects of our fear as well. Shifting our viewpoint may eradicate our fear completely. Often, we fear things that are far away from us, imagining them to be much more horrible or difficult than they really are, whether they are things or events. If we force ourselves to approach them just once, we’ll realize how overactive our imagination had been. Fear of flying is a great example. Even a single flight can convince you that flying really isn’t that bad. You may even find it exhilarating. In any case, it won’t be mysterious anymore—and remember, we rarely fear that which is familiar. Make your fear familiar.

3. Give yourself a pep talk.

Don’t be a defeatist, or beat yourself up. You’re not too weak to overcome your fear; you simply need to take action. Fear despises action; it prefers to see us tied up and powerless. When we take the initiative, and being doing, we tend to stop fearing—because the ball is in our court. Be positive, and encourage yourself as you confront your fear.

4. Learn acceptance for the way things are.

Some things we cannot change, such as the fact of death, so we must simply make peace with the fact of mortality; there is, obviously, little we can do about it! Most of our everyday fears, however, are quite different. These are the things we can change, and can take practical steps to overcome.

To conquer fears and overcome phobias, remember that the fear is inside you. We often imagine it as some monstrous thing looming on the horizon, when in fact, it’s lurking in our mind, in the way we see the world. Refocus your vision, confront your fears, and watch as they disappear.

With that big project hanging over your head, due first thing tomorrow, you follow the same old habit and reach for another coffee or chocolate or energy drink, just to keep your eyes open. Moments later, you feel the rush of sugar and caffeine, and hack away at the computer, pushing ahead on the project, with your eyes on the prize. But after an hour or so has passed, your high of a moment ago suddenly plunges into a deep valley; you feel completely drained. Once again, you reach for another energy drink or coffee. The vicious circle reasserts itself, every time you try to boost your energy level.

Maybe it’s time to step back and evaluate the causes of this pattern. The simple scientific fact is that sugar and caffeine have no energy benefits whatsoever. Although they may produce a fleeting sensation of higher energy, you’ll realize, the minute it passes, that they’ve only succeeded in sapping your energy, leading you to feel more exhausted than you were when you first reached for the coffee maker.

What about sugar? It’s full of carbohydrates, and therefore has the reputation as a sort of high-octane fuel for the body and mind. However, while some carbohydrates, such as those found in starches, inject their energy over time into your blood circulation, sugar dumps its energy almost immediately into the blood. Naturally, your sugar levels in the blood experience a sudden spike. Insulin is emitted by the pancreas in response, redirecting that extra sugar floating around in your veins to your cells. So, overall, the level of sugar in your bloodstream actually falls, compared even to when you first began to enjoy that chocolate or “energy bar.”

Used in moderation (as with just about anything in life), caffeine isn’t necessarily a health threat. It may increase your mental focus or clarify your thinking, if taken in small doses. But if you indulge in it a bit too often, the law of diminishing returns sets in. Not only will you derive less and less benefit from every successive cup of coffee, but you’ll in fact add to your exhaustion. Analyze your caffeine intake over several days, and try to determine where your cut-off point is—the point where that coffee or energy drink stops helping, and starts hurting. Then, you can enjoy caffeine in reasonable doses, without compromising your productivity.

Maybe you should formulate a new strategy, and think of ways to boost your energy naturally. The quick fixes you’ve resorted to in the past may actually be hurting more than helping.

Depression is a diagnosis that is so widespread that many may not regard it as a real illness. The fact is that depression is a disorder that can prove life-threatening if not dealt with in a timely manner.

Depression can be nothing short of debilitating, disrupting not only long-term plans and goals, but even the most everyday things in life, whether it be dragging oneself out of bed in the morning, preparing meals, and taking care of various odds and ends.

Various forms of professional treatment and medications are available, of course, but they can often be prohibitively expensive. While depression can be difficult to cure, and will not pass with time like a common cold, it can be effectively managed with the help of a few easy guidelines. For serious depression management, you may need to seek professional help; but even the layperson can take an active approach, and engage in self-treatment, having learned about ways to deal with depression.

• Activity is one of the simplest methods for coping with depression. Do whatever it takes to divert your mind from those dark thoughts, to maintain healthy physical and mental activity. Find a relaxing kind of recreation or exercise, which will not only train your body, but calm your mind, and help you get more closely in touch with the real you. Getting a good night’s sleep is also crucial to mental health. If you’re having problems sleeping, even small changes to the physical arrangement of your bedroom can make a difference. Remove every distracting or annoying element from your sleeping area—anything that prevents you from falling asleep and sleeping soundly.

• One of the worst things a depressed person can do is stifle his emotions, keeping them inside, hiding them from others and possibly from oneself. Be honest about what you’re feeling, and learn to discuss it openly and freely. Emotions aren’t something to fear. Some of life’s challenges can reduce us to tears, which is only natural; but some people consider this to be humiliating, and beneath their dignity, and therefore, instead of letting the sadness express itself the way nature intended, they try to smother it deep within them. There, it can simmer slowly, until, without warning, the grief and anger erupt, often with acts of pointless violence and destruction—throwing things, breaking things, or yelling angrily, and for no apparent reason, at someone you love.

• Spend time with those you care about. You need to build a support network around yourself, with the people who know the real you—the you that loves life and welcomes its challenges. As mentioned above, your buddies and relatives can help distract you from your problems, or simply help you express them. Those we care about are often what bring meaning to an otherwise pointless existence; often, by focusing our attention on them, and on our love for them, instead of on ourselves, we can begin to find a way out of depression.

• Finally, have some faith in yourself. Don’t pile insults and deprecations upon your own head. Depression can lead to a dangerously distorted view of oneself as weak, without talent, and incapable of living. Take a moment to reflect on your talents, on what you’ve accomplished so far in life. Direct your energy outwards, whether it’s taking up a new hobby, or doing something to make another person’s day. When you see the effect you can have on those you love, you’ll begin to realize the power you have.

When you know how to get rid of depression, you can begin to treat it practically. It’s not a quick or easy process, and will take some determination and persistence. But always remember that there are brighter days ahead.

Life is all about transitions; things are always in flux. As the ancient saying goes, you can never step in the same river twice. Change is a universal part of human existence; the inconvenient part about it is that it usually comes unannounced, and when it’s most unwelcome!

Since there’s no avoiding change, the wisest policy is to treat it as a challenge—one you’re well equipped to handle. Anyone who thinks they can exclude change from their life is destined to be disappointed. Poorly prepared to deal with transition, they regard any intrusion of the unknown as a disaster.

The reality is that transition is as much an opportunity as it is a threat; it’s simply a matter of perception. Someone who takes a positive approach to this adversity will make the most of it, perhaps as a sort of unexpected detour, which, quite unexpectedly, may take them exactly where they want to be. Someone, on the other hand, who fears uncertainty, will likely use it as an excuse; for such people, failure is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Changes usually come in bunches, like some sort of chain reaction, disrupting the course you’ve charted in life. But those unforeseen winds can blow you in exciting directions! Embark with a sense of excitement and discovery, while keeping a few simple guidelines in mind as you deal with your transition.

1. Don’t Force It

Anyone who thinks they can completely manage change, or avoid it altogether, has another think coming. Adaptability is the key here. Don’t try to forecast too far ahead in life, and be prepared for several variants. Regardless of which one comes, you’ll be ready to deal with it.

2. Take A Load Off Your Mind

Some say that shared pain is doubled pain. True, no one wants to be seen as a complainer. But discussing your changes constructively with a trusted friend or colleague can be a huge relief. Talk through the dilemma, and chart a way out of your labyrinth. The fresh perspectives others have to offer may surprise you.

3. Some Things Never Change

When those transitions come in flurries, take a moment to reorient yourself, before you become completely bewildered. Always remember that some of the most important things in life are always at your fingertips. It may be an old schoolmate, or a favorite novel, or even a vacation retreat full of good memories. Seek out something familiar, a port in the storm, and chart your next step.

4. Don’t Despair

Never be too hard on yourself when you’re undergoing transition. Drastic changes can evoke some serious reactions, from fear to elation, excitement to dread. Don’t deny or suppress your feelings—confront them. There’s nothing wrong with the emotions you’re experiencing; they’re only natural. Whatever you do, don’t throw up your hands in despair.

5. Find a Much-Needed Distraction

One of the healthiest ways to deal with change is to forget about it for a while! Avoiding or denying change is dangerous—but so is obsessing over it. Take the opportunity to escape for a while. Travel somewhere exotic, or try something new. The growth you experience will further equip you to take the bull of change by the horns.

Dealing with change and adversity is all about bending, not breaking. Transition is a part of every life; the trick is making it work in your favor, and going with the flow, instead of foolishly fighting against it.